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Break up can definitely be a hard thing. Whether it has just been a few days or months, a break up when ever done is a break up and to get over it could be a hard thing. After the getting over on the break up phase, there will be a phase in your life where you will feel guilty. You will feel hard to exist in the world where your boyfriend exists too. The feeling of pain will constantly be there. If you were the reason for the break up, guilt will overpower your phase of life and make you feel terrible about what you did. This is when you should know that the best thing you should do when you feel like this, is to deal with the traumatic break down. Yes, you have to put up a brave face and deal with it, instead of feeling guilt.
You know that the break up for a good reason and you know that this is what you wanted, but the guilt will eat you alive. That is when you have to know that there a few tips that you should follow when you are undergoing a break up phase. First things come first. You don’t have to apologize to anyone for the break up because you don’t think of it as a wrong deal. You sure know that the entire drama happened because of you, so don’t feel bad about it. Deal with the guilt in the most mature way. Here are some tips that I am going to give you on how to overcome the breakup guilt.
Top Tips for Not Feeling Guilty Post Breakup
1Recognize the feeling
If you are feeling low, if you are feeling terribly guilty, you should recognize that feeling in your head. Yes, you should make sure that you tell yourself that you are not the bad person in the picture. Though everyone else would think that you are a bad person for breaking up, you know why you did it and that is for the good only. So, feel it and don’t be sorry for being guilty. You don’t have to feel sorry for the miserable self. But you have to make sure you know what you are feeling. Just because you broke up, it doesn’t make you the bad guy in the relationship.
2Catch your triggers
This is something that happens to everybody who just broke up. If you tend to be the attached person, every small thing can look extremely big for you. Yes, small triggers or urges like wanting to call the person, wanting to go and meet him, texts, birthday cards and whatever time you spent with him will come in front of you and give you an impulse to do what you shouldn’t be doing. Catch those triggers and find out what you feel at the moment. Feeling guilty can also mean that you are moving on. So, dont worry much about the triggers and let go of yourself.
3Learn to differentiate
It is very important that you differentiate between good guilt and bad guilt. Something that isn’t appropriate cannot be termed as guilt. If you are the reason why you broke up and you feel that it is eating you alive, then that is good guilt. Did you do something wrong in the relationship like ‘did you cheat the guy’, did you use your guy for something else? You should feel bad for these ones. You shouldn’t be feeling bad for stuff where you don’t even involve, but broke up because you couldn’t take it. When you differentiate between good and bad guilt, you will feel that what you did is right.
[Also Read – Never break up using these ways]
4Try to avoid manipulations
After a break up, your boyfriend may turn into a nice man. He might plead you, fill your texts with apologies, your friends may question you and your family members may think you did something wrong. But all this doesn’t have to break you or cloud your judgment because you didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t go down when the manipulation pulls you down and then feel guilty for yourself or about your situation. Remember that you have taken a decision because you wanted to take it. Nobody forced you to and stay and stick with the decision.
5Be positive
There is a good from everything in this world. You need to know that whatever happens to you, there is a ray of positivity behind that. Time will heal everything and that is what happens to you and your guilt as well. Once you stop thinking about the guilt, you will feel better and positive about your situation. In fact, you will start thinking about how funny it is that you felt guilty about something that wasn’t even your fault. So, have patience and wait for it to die. Once it dies, the guilt will die too.
-Pavithra Ravi
