What should you expect if you get married to a Punjabi?

No matter how much you try to shush them, they are not going to. Because, they are the loudest people on earth. They can sing, dance, greet and even cry loudly. It doesn’t matter where they are, what they do, if it excites them or makes them argue, they are going to be super loud. If you are a new bride in the house, don’t bother to lower their voices, because that isn’t going to happen. You either should get used to the noise, or simply move from the noisy place to a much non-noisy place which may be difficult for you to find.

Every day you will encounter some kind of drama at home. Even if you fall down and hurt your leg, they are loving people who know to express love by drama. Mother-son drama is an everyday scene in most of the Punjabis house. It will involve emotional outbursts, happy tears, hugs and more hugs. It could be difficult to adjust at first, but you will get used to all the drama in some course of time. Post the adjusting part, you may wonder why there is no drama for the day if there isn’t any. Don’t get scared or worried because they know to get back to their ground in sometime.

If you are a south Indian getting married to a Punjabi, remember that Ji is a form of respect that you give to everybody. Even the tiniest person in the house is called using ji. Mummyji, Daddyji, Behenji etc etc is the usual way of addressing people. Sometimes, it is considered as offense if you don’t use the particular prefix while talking to elders. So, learn to call every one ji from now on.

Remember and be ready for a huge family. Punjabis are not big families, they are huge in number. Relatives are going to be there in every part of the country and you are supposed to greet and welcome them whether they are from Chandigarh, Ludhiana or Canada. Every Punjabi family has more than 10 members abroad and they are considered very tall amongst the family. They will not be addressed using names. They will be called as Canada Wali Bhabhi, or America wala Bhayya and so on. You must and should give special attention, time and care for those relatives who visit at least 4 times in a year.

[Also know – Punjabi wedding rituals]

Be ready to hog and prepare food almost all the time. They eat at least 6 times a day. It starts from morning with Paranthas. Bread toast or egg toast doesn’t work with Punjabi families. They need you to prepare or eat Paranthas for breakfast with nicely and freshly made side dishes. Different kinds of paranthas for each day like aloo, muli, gobi, dhal which will be served with lassi or buttermilk. Now, you know from where your husband gets all his strength. The diet is big and unimaginable, so get used to that. Chicken is their favorite and may dislike fish most of the times. Any form of chicken, butter, milk and paranthas are what they love to eat the most.

From an old lady to one year old baby, everybody needs to dance. You cannot shy off in a Punjabi family. This would be very familiar to you if you are getting married anytime sooner. They will dance, booze because both of this is allowed for even women. Punjabis are bindas people. They don’t expect you to dance with class. All they expect you to do is, shake your hands and legs and dance wild. You will impress all your Punjabi aunties if you can do the above.

Anything small or big, if you befriend your husband’s beeji, then that’s your jackpot. Punjabis are very respectful and love their Beeji (grandma). Your beeji will support and pour unconditional love on you if you are her favorite.

You cannot say you don’t know how to make chapathis in a Punjabi family. Not just chapathis, they have to be super round and neatly presented. Punjabis are very concerned when it comes to presenting themselves or the food they make. So, if someone has been called to your house for dinner, make sure you learn how to make round chapathis and be prepared to make more than usual because dinner feasts are when you see the real appetite of these people.

All said and done, Punjabis are the most fun loving people and they don’t hide anything in their heart. They are not crooked, they are way too generous and are the most truth speaking people when compared to others. If you are marrying to a Punjabi, expect the unexpected and the unexpected will soon become the expected.

If you are a guy reading this and are getting married to a South Indian Brahmin, then these are the rituals you should know.

-pavithra Ravi