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It may be one of the easiest ways to get along with your lover or your husband after marriage. But there is a bigger task than just getting married! Yes, getting along with, everyone gets easier compared to just one person with whom you might have to spend most of your time. This surely goes with even your husband. But did you wonder, somehow the guys always gel really well with the mother-in-laws! It’s always the women who find it hard to gel with the women folk of the house! It has been proven that almost 60% of the marriages suffer because of the tension caused by fights between the daughter in law and the mother-in-law.
Well, to walk in a straight line, you have to also make sure to stand straight! So, here are some ways by which you can be a good daughter in law!
Top Ways to be the Best Daughter in Law
1Positive attitude
Well, just like how it is new to you, it sure is one of the new roles that your mom in law will be playing. So, she may be as confused and new as you are. Try to spread positive attitude amongst the two of you, so that it gets easier for her to understand what you are saying. Who knows, maybe the old lady is actually trying her best to fit into the new shoes of hers. Look for the positives and try to fit in.
2Equality
This could easily be one of the most missed catch from any daughter-in-law’s side. Try to treat you’re your mother and mother-in-law the same way. For example, if you get your mother something for her birthday, try and make sure you gift something to your mother-in-law as well on her birthday. It could be true that mother and mother in law are not the same, but you make a little change if you think of her as your own. Make the children visit both the places equally. This could avoid fights between you and your husband as well.
3Sensitivity
Remember that certain things that are shared by the son and mother will always remain the same. The fact that the old lady has spent all her life raising her son should appeal to you most of the times. It may take some time for your mother in law to accept the fact that some other has become her son’s center of attraction in life. So, give her the space. If your mother in law tells you how much her son always likes the way she cooks, don’t compete with her! Just learn from her and tell her that you would want to become like her. That way she knows that you acknowledge her hard work for her son and still want to
[Also know – How to deal with difficult mother-in-law]
4Respect
This goes without saying! Everybody has to be treated with respect and treating your mother in law is a must. Consider her older, wiser and experienced because that is sure the fact. Try to connect with her and ask her stories of your husband’s childhood, her childhood, her likes, dislikes. How she raised her child and her life experiences. Connecting can make her like you more and think of you as her own daughter. This way the bond gets stronger.
5Expectations
Don’t expect too much from your husband’s family. This is not to bog you down! Every daughter in law is welcomed with an open arm into the family, but not many know what kind of a person you are. If your mother in law doesn’t appreciate you for the cooking or the clean kitchen, don’t do drama or get angry with her. According to her, that could have been done by anybody. So, wait and give time for everyone to know more about you.
6Be attentive
Be attentive to small details when she shares with you. If she mentions that she does not like garlic in food, make sure you listen to her and avoid garlic. These are definitely the small things that you can do to make her feel happy. If she wants to help you with cooking, don’t say no. Let her come and help you. But if she refuses to help you, don’t make a scene out of that also. Ask your husband for help and clean up the dishes by yourself. Remember, all this is until she understands you. Once she does, it definitely won’t be the same.
7Advice
This may be something that could be misunderstood as a personal attack. Don’t! Never think of advice as a personal attack on you. Always remember that your mother in law is old and experienced. So, no matter what, she has a lot of experience and knowledge on various things. If you want help, don’t hesitate to ask her. Be open to taking different choices, suggestions and give her the respect she is asking for. Of course it is up to you to take the advice or drop it, but listening is important. You never know how informative it can get.
8Children
Don’t restrict your mother in law from being close to your children. Most of the times, their grandmother instincts are so strong that they may give extra leverage to the children. If she wants to spoil the children a little bit by giving extra chocolates or letting them see TV, don’t get angry at her. Remember that whatever she does as a grandmother is purely out of love.
9Communication
Never keep your opinions of your thoughts suppressed. If you do that, things will boil up later and burst. Always communicate whatever you feel. Everyone is bound to make mistakes and If your mother in law is at fault, then tell her you felt bad about her behavior. Discuss with your family (husband and others) on what made you upset. This is not like insulting, so your mother in law will understand what you like or don’t like. It will clear the air!
-Pavithra Ravi
