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There are a lot of emotions involved in a relationship. Love, hate, jealousy and irritation. So many more all of this is understandable and people make sure that they understand what the other person is feeling but, there is one thing is caught off guard buy all the couples in a serious relationship many couples think that selfishness is not acceptable in a lovely relationship. Well, according to me every road has its own expectations and exception contrary to popular belief being selfish in a relationship is not bad at all in fact sometimes. I would say that being selfish is individualistic and good for you it so happens that you end up being selfless for most of the time in your relationship. Being selfless is not wrong but, you cannot give up the person that you are just because you want to comfort your boyfriend.
It is also believed and proved that girls take up all the pain and they are selfless and generous in a relationship. So, girls today this article is going to give you an outline of why it is fine to be selfish in a relationship. So read on and make sure that you are not been taken for granted just because of your sweet nature. There are a lot of men who take this to their advantage and manipulate with your feelings. Yes, it is fine to be selfish and individualistic for a change!
Times When You Can be Selfish
1When you have adjusted too much
If everything that you have done in your relationship is just give and not expect anything in return, then probably there is something wrong with your relationship. A gentle and generous man would try to reciprocate the help and the selfless nature that he gets from his girlfriend. If your boyfriend or your partner doesn’t give you back what you deserve, then probably your relationship is in a rut. Too much of anything can be overwhelming and bad, even if it is about being selfless. You will end up losing yourself and your worth to the relationship.Over trying to make your partner happywill also make you lose your self-respect and self esteem. So even before the relationship goes to such a state, you have to probably stop and look for ways to fix it.
A mature way of handling this kind of problem is when you can sit and talk with your partner. Act like adults and talk about how you have to bring a balance. If he understands the problem behind all this, then he’s probably looking out for you. If he does not understand the relationship and does not care about your selfless nature, I would suggest that you come out of such a horrible and hopeless relationship. No guy deserves a girl who is so selfless and adjusting.
Also know, why you should come out of a toxic relationship
2When over-sex exhausts you
It is never wrong to think about yourself and be selfish when it comes to sex. Sex is an emotional, physical and mental connection. As much as it is very important to have a physical connection with your boyfriend to strengthen your relationship, it is also fine to sometimes not feel like having sex. You are definitely not a sex machine and you don’t have to obey your boyfriend. It is fine to sometimes just say that you’re not in the mood or you don’t want to have sex for the night.
If your boyfriend understands how you feel and has the best interest in his mind, then he would probably adjust and consider it your boundaries, butif he ends up forcing you or if he makes you feel terrible for saying no, then he’s probably very manipulative and dangerous. Your future with this kind of selfish swine can be disturbing too. In this situation, you can definitely think of yourself and be selfish. Don’t worry about the consequences now!
3If he has become very controlling
Has your boyfriend been very controlling these days? By controlling, I mean, has he been deciding everything on his own? Is he even considerate of your thoughts and opinions? Does he involve you in decisions that are small or life-altering? If all the answers to these questions are yes, then probably your relationship is heading the wrong road. Do you always just go with the flow because you don’t want to fight with him? If that is the case, it just means that you are with the wrong person you have to exercise your right to be heard. The Relationship involves two people, two sets of mind and two sets of hearts.
So, if the guy cannot accept your opinions, then he will never respect you for the person that you are. This is the time you can be selfish for yourself and probably take a decision before it gets too late. Tell him that you. As an individual needs to be considered in everything, equally. If he still doesn’t bother, then you can take a drastic decision.
4If you are missing yourself
The process of relationship can be tricky and confusing. When you think that everything is going the right way, there can be a sudden realization. You will feel like you have been missing the person that you are, you’ve been missing yourself and you have never had your ‘me-time’. When was the last time you went to the beauty parlor and had a makeover. Probably you haven’t even met your friends after you started going out with this guy. So try to figure out why this piece of you is missing and if you can fix it. Don’t miss out on yourself and the person that you are, just because your boyfriend needs you all the time.
-Pavithra Ravi
